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Over the past few years, many of my friends in this industry have died. Almost all for the wrong reasons: alcoholism, drugs, recklessness, depression. Some of the deaths were side effects of their choices, some could be considered partial or whole suicides. But at the end of the day they left behind a family. Kids who won’t grow up knowing their dad, friends and family destroyed.
The truth is that in the tower industry, you can’t help but run with a rough crowd sometimes. It’s just part of the game; people who often have issues, rough pasts, rough lives, and rough mindsets. Most normal people don’t get into this kind of work and sometimes it’s because you have a criminal background, or no education, or want a job. It’s one of the few jobs I know where a guy who can’t pass a background check can actually make a good life for himself. That’s no disrespect to the guys who fit that bill. I’m great friends with a lot of them. But I’ve seen many of them die before even hitting forty.
Everyone makes a point about tower hands falling, but if you compared the number of guys in this business who die from their demons, versus those who die from the sudden impact, it’s a landslide. The biggest killer of tower hands from what I’ve seen is substance abuse and suicide. A large part of that is due to the fact that most tower hands are men. Statistics show, as guys, we commit suicide and die from drug overdoses FAR more than women. We make up 77 percent of all suicides and roughly 66 percent of opiate deaths.
We just don’t deal with our problems in an effective way. We don’t reach out or ask for help. We just hit that breaking point, and it’s all screwed up from there. You don’t want to admit weakness to your friends or co-workers. Maybe you’ve failed in your career, or failed as a father or partner. Maybe you’re just at a breaking point trying to keep up your current level of success and accomplishment. That’s a real thing too. A lot of times your significant other can’t begin to understand what you’re going through as a man, because they perceive a lot of things differently. You can talk to them about your troubles, but they don’t have the proper frame of reference because they have never climbed a mile in your boots.
The whole reason I’m writing this is that another one of my tower industry friends recently passed away from a drug overdose in what was most likely a suicide. They found him unresponsive in his car, and he was pronounced DOA at the hospital. I had known for a long time that he struggled deeply with depression, but did not know the extent of it, or that he was on that edge. But if he had asked for help, or told me what he was going through, I would have done whatever I could to help him. However, I didn’t get that chance. I got a phone call.
Just a year ago I lost another good friend of mine due to alcoholism and depression. A similar situation, just a guy who lost his fight to what was inside of him. I wish I was given the option to help in some way, but I wasn’t. Now I know that somebody can only really be helped if it’s their choice, and there’s no changing that. But if you don’t reach out, you deny yourself and the people around you the chance to help turn your boat in the right direction.
We all live under the same sky, in the same world. Its our perceptions of our individual realities that make the difference. Don’t be afraid to ask one of your friends or coworkers for help. Like honestly talk to them and let them know where you’re at. Nobody can read your mind and know how close you are to your true limit if you don’t tell them. The people around you deserve the chance to help you. And if it’s that bad, don’t be afraid to walk away from it all and start again. Nothing you’re living through is worth dying over. Give it up, the job, the family, everything, and walk away and rebuild, and try and come back later. Anything but taking the permanent way out, the way that burns a hole in the heart of everyone who you care about. Comments? Email us.
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Provides help to those in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
Call 1-800-273-8255
By Grant Ballew, site construction manager, nine-year industry veteran
October 18, 2018
